When somebody would violate or hurt other persons, we must ask who taught that is the right way to act?

Kimmo Huosionmaa

We always see the essays and other stories about social relationships and how to act without hurting somebody. Media is full of stories how to say "I'm sorry", and how to act in situations, that somebody feels have been hurt, and also there are stories, that somebody didn't understand how sad some work fellow is? When we are thinking about the situation, that somebody has lost the member of the family, and some person in the working place would not even notice that thing, we must ask one question: "how this ice-cold person has been treated in the working life"?


Did somebody leave that person without support in the situation, that the person needed somebody, who would listen to the problems? When we see the person, who is like ice, and doesn't even notice, that somebody is crying, we must look in the mirror in that kind of cases. We might ask one thing "how this person dares to talk about dishes or account numbers when somebody has lost the child or spouse"? Then we can visit the library and take some book of psychology from the rack, and notice that there is the very interesting story about model learning. That is sometimes called as the "Lucifer effect".The worst example of this effect is the situation, that person who has been violated at home, would start to violate the own children.


Or sometimes ex-concentration camp prisoner would become the prison guard, and then start to act like some guards were acted in Auschwitz. The reason for that is, that the person would learn that prison guards can act that way. And it is learned this person by hitting with batons and extort that victim in many ways.  This means that if we see that somebody else does something to us, and nobody thinks that is wrong, that way to treat other persons would transmit straight to us. And in that kind of cases, where somebody doesn't even care about other person sadness, we must ask was this person always alone in the workplace?


The model learning gives us answer, that in some other workplaces this particular person had got bosses, who didn't care about this kind of situations, and maybe this work mate  had similar situation in the life, that the member of own family or some very close friend of that person had died, and the boss just didn't care about this situation. Or maybe this heartless workmate has been some kind of temporary worker, who was not even noticed in the workplace. Why should that person care about the workmates, who meant nothing to other workmates?


If other workers ever speak to that person, why should this temporary worker ever care about the loss of somebody else? In this case, I must say something, what you, my dear readers ever don't want to know. Thar worker might hurt somebody on purpose. If another person would just yell to henchman or temporary worker,  this victim might want to hurt other persons on purpose, because this  person was first the victim. And that would cause the spiral of revenge, what would cause that all works in the workplace have not been done. Social relationships are very important thing, but in workplace work comes first

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The personal relationships are very complicated thing.

Kimmo Huosionmaa

When superiority would get information that henchman would violate other, same ranking person, must this superiority be very careful. The report might be unnecessary and made by the purpose to change some person from the workplace. The most important thing, in this case, is to observe and investigate this situation, and then make decisions about the case. Maybe the reporter was overreacting to something normal because this reporter’s personal life has changed problematic.


The reason for overreaction might cause the divorce or death case in this person’s social environment, and that might cause the report of violating. But of course those reports can make for some real reason, and in this case, the violator must stop the actions, what causes that reaction. In those cases, the balance and justly actions to stop that violating are the necessary thing, and the violator must realize that this way to act is not right for the firm or other workers. But sometimes the target of those reports is some superiority of the company. That person, who is targeted for the report is sometimes a team leader.


And if the reporter would change the job after the report, would it cause that this reporter is childish. When there would be no procedures for the violating would be done, and the henchman would change the fob, that can cause the wrong attitude of the henchman. But if that happens simultaneously every time when this boss is targeted for reports, would that means that the boss misuses the position, and makes other persons be quiet about those cases, where that boss is suspected as the violating behavior. But then we must say, that sometimes the divorcements from the job causes personal reasons.


And of course, if somebody has the heavy drinking problem that person can be kicked off. In those cases would be very reasonable to mention, that the person is kicked off because of drinking. In some cases, the person, who has said or written something against the leaders of the companies would kick off. But the reason for that might be hired from other workers. The most common reason would be productive reasons, but sometimes I have thought that the person is kicked off for some other reasons.



Boss has always right to divorce the henchman if there are problems with that worker, but there is sometimes difficult to tell that to the person, who has been kicked off. This is the problem in those cases that reason for kicking off causes for the personal relationship. The boss might think that hiding the reason might be easier for the company and the directors if the real reason for the divorcement would cover, and in some cases, the reason for hiding things like drinking in the workplace can cause that the boss has let the drunken person drive vehicles. That will look like the bad thing if that kind of behaviors would uncover. If there caused some accidents,  that would cause long and expensive juridical process against that kind of companies, and those processes would get the bosses and henchmen to jail if there were some accidents. And the things would be proven in the courtroom.


That would cause problems in new places because if the reason is being drunk in the workplace or in the worst case driving some vehicle like the truck. If that kind of cases will be hidden, could that the person continue drinking in the new place and cause terrible accidents. Or if the reason for kicking off might be violence, that person could even kill somebody in next place.

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